Supper with Kids: Cut the Chaos

Because suppertime involves about 100 tasks for moms, here are some tidbits of wisdom based on Ellen Satter's Division of Responsibility approach, which will help reduce parental stress and support kids' autonomy and food acceptance.

• Plan a weekly supper menu with kids for better acceptance.

• Provide food exposure opportunities while involving kids in meal prep to increase their chance of food acceptance. Have them peel and cut vegetables, mix dishes, and help you shake in spices.

• Serve supper early enough to catch kids at peak hunger, without them ruining their appetite with snacks.

• Serve a hearty snack right after school if supper is not for a while, or a more limited snack to tide them over if supper is approaching shortly.

• Prevent children from grazing before supper by providing structure of a pre-supper activity.

• Instead of restricting quantities of afternoon snack, consider limiting the TIMING of snack: “snack time will be over in one minute and then we will play outside until suppertime.”

• At suppertime, put out a couple extra easy menu items such as milk, bread, canned beans, corn or pickles to give kids more confidence that they can participate in the meal, and opportunities for nutrition.

• Serve food buffet style or family style, avoid plating kids’ food if possible. For younger kids, plate their food in front of them, engaging them and being responsive to their input on what and how much you put on their plate.

• Regulate your nervous systems at suppertime by singing a song, or guiding a conversation reviewing highlights of everyone’s day.

• Reduce distractions at mealtimes such as screens, books, phone calls and toys.

• Gently remind kids that it is time for them to be at the table until suppertime is over, regardless of what they choose to eat.

• Ensure that kids know they can have more of any of the menu options on the table.

• If a child asks for a different meal, answer that "it’s not on the menu", and let them know when they can expect it next.

• Eat with your children, and model adequate chewing, etiquette, and balanced eating.

Eating with kids is always a party; good luck and happy dining! The process is messy, but they will grow up someday and learn how to eat like adults. If you feel stuck, please reach out for individualized support, as these tips are all easier said than done!

Best,

Noa